He Changed Everything - 1 Corinthians 1:10-17 - Lost Identity
When Conflict Becomes Personal: Finding Unity Through Christ
Conflict is inevitable in life, but understanding its root cause can transform how we handle disagreements. Whether it's around the Thanksgiving dinner table or within church walls, many conflicts aren't really about the topics we think we're arguing over - they're about something much deeper.
Why Do We Struggle with Conflict?
Most people fall into one of two camps when it comes to conflict: those who are comfortable engaging in it, and those who avoid it at all costs. Regardless of which camp you're in, conflict reveals something important about human nature and our tendency to make disagreements personal.
Think about the last conflict you experienced where you felt compelled to take a stand. What was really at stake? Often, what appears to be a disagreement about topics, policies, or ideas is actually something much more personal - it's about our identity.
The Problem of Misplaced Identity
When Sports Become Identity
Consider the intensity of sports rivalries. Fans don't just want their team to win - they identify as fans of that team. The conflict isn't really about which team is better; it's about who they are as people. This same pattern shows up in many areas of life, from technology preferences to political affiliations.
Biblical Example: The Corinthian Church
The apostle Paul addressed this exact issue in his letter to the Corinthians. In 1 Corinthians 1:10, Paul appeals for unity: "I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there would be no divisions among you, but that you would be perfectly united in mind and thought."
This might seem impossibly idealistic, but Paul wasn't suggesting they try their best. He was calling them to strive for this unity because God loves us enough not to leave us where we are, and because disunity causes serious pain in the church community.
What Was Causing Division in Corinth?
The conflict in Corinth wasn't over theology or doctrine - it was over personalities. Some said "I follow Paul," others "I follow Apollos," still others "I follow Peter." They were arguing over who baptized them and which leader was superior.
Paul's response was direct: "Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul?" He pointed out that they were majoring in minor issues while neglecting what truly mattered.
Majoring in the Minors
Jesus' Warning to the Pharisees
In Matthew 23:23, Jesus criticized the religious leaders for this same problem: "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness."
The Pharisees were so focused on minor details (literally counting out spice seeds for tithing) that they missed the major issues of justice, mercy, and faithfulness.
Modern Examples of Majoring in Minors
Churches today can fall into similar traps, creating conflict over:
Music styles and worship preferences
Dress codes and cultural expectations
Political affiliations
Bible translations
Leadership structures
These issues can become so important to people that they're willing to leave churches or break relationships over them, while neglecting the major calling to love God and love others.
The Root Issue: Identity Crisis
When we examine the Corinthian conflict closely, we see the word "I" repeated five times in their statements about who they follow. The issue wasn't really about the leaders - it was about them wanting the world to conform to their preferences and expectations.
This is why conflicts become personal. When we place our identity in temporary things - political parties, church traditions, cultural preferences, or even technology brands - any challenge to those things feels like a personal attack.
Where Should We Find Our Identity?
Galatians 2:20 - The Solution
Paul provides the answer in Galatians 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
True identity comes from being crucified with Christ - allowing the self-centered "I" to die so that Christ can live through us. This means finding our identity not in temporary things that can change or be taken away, but in the eternal love and purpose of God.
Why This Identity is Secure
When our identity is in Christ:
No one can touch our core worth because we're loved by God
Political changes don't threaten who we are
Cultural shifts don't shake our foundation
Church conflicts don't destroy our faith
We can focus on eternal things that truly matter
Preparing for Thanksgiving Conversations
As we approach Thanksgiving gatherings where conflict might arise, we can prepare by:
Recognizing when discussions become personal - Ask yourself why you're getting heated about a topic
Checking your identity - Are you defending an idea or defending yourself?
Focusing on what unites rather than divides - Remember that family bonds transcend political differences
Keeping eternal perspective - Nations rise and fall, but God's kingdom is eternal
The Communion Table as a Model
Every Sunday, Christians gather around the communion table despite their differences on secondary issues. Why? Because they agree on the primary issue: Jesus Christ died for their sins and rose again. They all need Him equally.
This shared meal represents unity around what matters most - our common need for salvation and our shared identity as children of God.
Life Application
This week, as you prepare for Thanksgiving gatherings and future conflicts, challenge yourself to examine where you've placed your identity. When you feel yourself getting defensive or angry in a disagreement, pause and ask:
Am I defending a principle or defending my ego?
Have I placed my identity in something temporary rather than eternal?
What would it look like to respond from my identity in Christ rather than my cultural or political preferences?
How can I major in the majors (love, justice, mercy) rather than the minors?
Questions for Reflection:
What topics or issues make you most defensive, and what might that reveal about where you've placed your identity?
How would your approach to conflict change if you truly believed your worth came from Christ alone?
What "minor" issues have you been majoring in that might be distracting you from God's greater purposes?
Remember, when our identity is secure in Christ, we're free to engage in discussions without needing to win every argument. We can listen, learn, and love because our worth isn't on the line - it's already established by the One who gave His life for us.
