When Control and Repentance Don't Mix: Lessons from Ephesus
We all have areas of our lives we try to keep hidden. Like shoving clutter into a closet before guests arrive, we often manage appearances while keeping our spiritual messes tucked away. But what happens when we realize that holding onto control is preventing us from experiencing true freedom in Christ?
The Hidden Closet of Our Lives
Most of us work hard to maintain control over how others see us. We clean our homes before company arrives, post only our most flattering photos on social media, and present the most polished version of ourselves at church. But beneath this carefully managed exterior, many of us have a "secret closet" where we hide the sins we're not ready to address, the habits we're not willing to break, and the parts of ourselves we don't want others to see.
In Acts 19, we encounter a group of believers in Ephesus who decided to stop hiding their mess. They brought everything into the light and eliminated it completely.
What Happened in Ephesus?
Ephesus was a city filled with magical practices, sorcery, and witchcraft. After witnessing God's power through Paul's ministry, many believers realized they needed to make a decisive break with their past:
"Many of those who were now believers came confessing and divulging their practices. And a number of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. And they counted the value of them and found it came to 50,000 pieces of silver. So the word of the Lord continued to increase and to prevail mightily." (Acts 19:18-20)
These believers didn't just discreetly get rid of their magical scrolls—they publicly burned items worth millions in today's currency. Why such a dramatic response? They recognized that control and repentance don't mix.
The Tale of Two Kings: Saul vs. David
To understand this principle better, let's look at two kings from Israel's history who responded very differently when confronted with their sins.
King Saul: Grasping for Control
Saul's pattern was to maintain control at all costs. When instructed by Samuel to wait seven days at Gilgal, Saul grew impatient and offered sacrifices himself rather than waiting for Samuel. When confronted, Saul blamed others: "You were late, the people were scattering, I had to do something."
Later, when commanded to completely destroy the Amalekites, Saul spared the king and the best animals. His excuse? "I kept the best animals to sacrifice to God." Even in his partial confession, Saul was still trying to manage appearances: "I have sinned, but please honor me before the elders."
King David: Releasing Control
David's sins with Bathsheba were arguably worse than Saul's disobedience. Yet when confronted by the prophet Nathan, David's response was simple: "I have sinned against the Lord."
In Psalm 51, David wrote: "For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
Unlike Saul, David didn't try to justify his actions or shift blame. He released control, owned his sin, and threw himself on God's mercy. That's true repentance.
What Are Your "Sorcery Scrolls"?
The magical practices in Ephesus represented attempts to control the spiritual world and natural outcomes. Today, we may not practice sorcery, but we still try to maintain control in various ways:
Managing how others perceive us
Hiding our struggles and sins
Trying to fix our problems without God's help
Making excuses for our disobedience
Like the Ephesians, we face a choice: Will we respond like Saul, taking half-measures and maintaining control? Or will we respond like David, fully surrendering to God?
The Cost of Following Christ
Following Jesus always comes with a cost—both tangible and intangible. The Ephesians sacrificed valuable possessions worth millions. But the intangible cost is often harder: giving up control.
As Paul wrote in Philippians 3:7-8: "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."
The Greek word Paul uses for "rubbish" is actually much stronger—more like a crude term for animal waste. That's how Paul viewed everything compared to knowing Christ. Nothing the world offers compares to the value of knowing Jesus.
The Power of Confession
James 5:16 tells us, "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed." Confession isn't easy. It means admitting there's a problem, acknowledging we need help, and letting go of control. But it's worth it because God responds to our honesty with healing.
When we confess our sins to God and to trusted believers, several things happen:
We experience God's forgiveness
We receive support from others
We break the power of secrecy
We find healing and freedom
Acts 3:19 promises, "Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord."
Life Application
What are you still trying to control in your life? What "sorcery scrolls" are you holding onto that need to be brought into the light and burned?
This week, I challenge you to:
Identify your closet: What sins, habits, or struggles are you hiding from others and trying to manage on your own?
Release control: Admit to God that you can't fix yourself and surrender these areas to Him.
Confess to someone: Find a trusted friend, pastor, or small group member and share what you've been hiding. Remember James 5:16—confession leads to healing.
Burn your scrolls: Take decisive action to eliminate whatever is standing between you and full devotion to Christ.
Ask yourself:
What am I most afraid would happen if people knew the real me?
What would it look like to value Christ above everything else in my life?
Who could I trust with my confession, and when will I talk to them?
Remember, your mess is truly welcome here—not just as a saying, but as a lived reality in the community of believers. Nothing is more important than knowing Christ, and no sin is too big for His grace when we honestly confess and repent.